Growing up in Australia, I always thought that Sororities and Fraternities were just
something from the American television show "Beverly Hills 90210", but when I moved to
Kansas in 2001 as a 22 year old Australian girl, I soon realised that they actually
existed. Along with keg parties and BBQs in the back of pickup trucks at college
football games. One day, whilst living in Kansas, I made friends with girls that attended
K-State University and they were skinny and beautiful and exactly the image of true
Sorority girls; they looked like Kellie, Donna and Brenda from 90210.
The girls were my age and seemed to befriend my quickly and easily and were more than
too happy to take me out and show me the bars of Aggieville. So here I was in the small
town of Manhattan, Kansas and drinking Bud Light with a bunch of Sorority girls and
quickly being introduced as their new "Aussie" mate to every "Frat" boy in sight. It was
like suddenly Aaron Spelling had cast me into an episode!
After an hour or so, I decided I needed to visit the toilet - yes, the toilet! As an
Australian I never understand these disguise words American people use, like "restroom" or
"bathroom" when it is clear that I wasn't going to have a bath or a sleep. So I stated to
my new sorority friends that I was going to the toilet and then one of the girls named
Jennifer (I've changed her name for privacy reasons) piped up and said she wanted to come
along too. This didn't phase me in the slightest, as I have I come to realise that it is
a global thing for women to go off to the "bathroom" in groups. So Jennifer and I headed
off to the bathroom.
When I opened the door to the ladies', all I saw was one big bathroom with one hand
basin and one toilet, it looked to me like a disabled bathroom. Definitely not like what
I am used to. I was thinking to myself, where are all the cubicles? This was clearly a
toilet for one. However, before I could say to Jennifer, "Would you like to go first and I
can wait outside?" she had already walked in, pushing me forward and locking the door
behind both of us! What? Never normally short of words, here I was gob-smacked! Jennifer
had already come in, locked the door behind the both of us and then pulled up her skirt
and positioned herself on the toilet, saying, "I hope you don't mind if I go first". Mind?
Was I given an option? In total shock I could only manage the stupid words, "No
worries!" I began to look around the room, checking my make-up in the mirror, doing
anything to not look at the girl I had just met that day, peeing in front of me!
Jennifer was quickly finished and she stood up and with her chirpy cheerleader
sorority girl voice and said, "Your turn!" The only voice I heard was the one in my head
saying, "Get me out of here!" but I was in too much shock to say anything, so I positioned
myself for "my turn"! Ok, so it was my turn, so here I was still on the toilet and all I
could think was come on Sarah, just do it. But nothing. Come on, get this over and done
with. But still nothing was happening. "Come on, you needed to go before?" Yep, you
guessed it. Stage fright! Nothing! I seriously had to get the water running in the hand
basin to get me going. Sorry, but I'm used to peeing alone.
Finally! I was finished and this horrifying and forever disturbing experience was over.
Clearly our experience in the bathroom hadn't phased Jennifer in the slightest because as
soon as we walked back into the bar she was already back into normal conversation with me
saying, "Don't you think Josh is really cute?" Cute? Josh? What? I just peed in front of
you! Doesn't she realise that I work with people back home that won't even brush their
teeth in front of their husbands, let alone go to the toilet in front of them? People are
married for more than 30 years and they don't pee in front of each other, but for us it
was fine? That's right, cause we just met.. that day!
So what did this bizarre experience teach me about Culture Change? Sometimes I will be
put in difficult and confronting situations, but I must always maintain my cool. Some
people will invade my personal space and make me feel uncomfortable, but these are the
times I need to create clear boundaries, and always live a little out of my comfort zone.
I learned a lot about privacy - see, I didn't use her real name in this story, I just wish
she gave me the same privacy and let me go to the toilet in peace. Mostly, I learned that
no matter how confident or certain of ourselves we might be, anyone of us could be
confronted with stage fright! It happens to even the best of us.
